I recognize I am not a perfect parent. I’ve made my mistakes – two particularly heinous ones, for which I will always feel guilty - but, for the most part, I think I have my priorities straight. However, it must be said…what IS IT with parents these days???
There is a very sweet girl that lives in my apartment complex that is in Taylor’s class. She was student of the month in Taylor’s class the month right after Taylor was. I encourage that friendship! TThere’s also another boy, Caleb, that is Taylor’s age, that is also very sweet and respectful. He is among the few that I like Taylor playing with. There are different calibers of kids around here – the kind that I WANT Taylor playing with (very few), the majority that are Ok for Taylor to play with, and the few that she is just not allowed to play with at all (the real trouble-makers). But their parents!!!
Last night, I was outside, and I saw Janet’s father and other siblings going for a walk. A few minutes later, Taylor told me that Janet had gone home to find the door locked and no one there. I gave the father the benefit of the doubt, telling Taylor that Janet was either told and forgot, or wasn’t listening when he DID tell her. I base that assumption on the mere fact that Janet carries some kind of timer with her to the playground, and has to go “check in” every time it goes off. Great idea!! A parent that does that, is NOT just going to go off without notifying their child! Still, I don’t understand a parent that makes their child check in every so often, but will go off and leave a seven year old completely alone on the playground, with no one left at home.
I was trying to explain to Taylor that it’s probably not what it seems, who was worried for Janet, when Caleb’s mother pulls up in her car on the street, asking if I knew where her son was. Understandable, so I told her that I hadn’t seen him, and Taylor said the last she knew, he invited Janet to go to HIS house. Obviously, that wasn’t the case. Here’s where I feel the situation went askew. She calls out that she TOLD him she needed to run some errands, and off she went. She LEFT not even KNOWING WHERE HER 8 YR OLD SON WAS!!! She’s a single mother, and Caleb is her only child. There was no one at home.
I get particularly upset about this because I am ALWAYS the one that has to take responsibility for these scared children that come up to my door wondering why they can’t get into their apartment, cuz no one is answering the door. This has happened at least 2 or 3 times with different children. What am I suppose to do?? I can’t just leave them to fend for themselves, not even knowing what’s going on. And yet, feel extremely resentful that I have been forced into this position! I can’t just let them come into my apartment because their parents won’t know what happened to them when they’re not on the playground!
Another point that I am really bitter about, is that, because I am the ONLY parent that actually lives RIGHT THERE at the playground (they come from all over the complex), I end up being the one to nurse every wound. And these are not serious injuries. Most of the time, it’s a little scrape, or someone has pushed or hit someone else, and they knock on MY door to fix it for them, and to deal with the situation. It’s one thing if I happened to be outside when it happens. It’s another to actually come knocking on my door! Why don’t they GO HOME to their parents to look after it? It’s not like they’re unable to walk! And another thing, who put the invisible sign on my door that says, “public restroom, come one, come all” ???? Just because they’re playing with my children doesn’t mean they have to use my bathroom just because it’s closer and convenient!
Parents just aren’t teaching their children the proper etiquette these days! If I found out that another parent had to deal with a situation with my child, I would explain to my children that if they can WALK, they are to come to ME, not someone else! And certainly NOT invite yourself in to use their bathroom just because you’re too lazy to go home!! Now, I understand that children sometimes abandon what they’ve been taught and forget their manners. I’m always worried that mine will when they go to someone’s house. But the trick is to keep reinforcing! Everytime they go, I go over it again with them. It’s not enough to just say in passing, “That’s rude, don’t do that.” You have to really hammer it home! Every time! All the time! Consistency is key, here! It seems to be working for me because I always hear later how impressed they were at how polite my children are.
Again, I am FAR from perfect, but above all else, at the very least, my children WILL have manners, and will know the polite course of action for every situation. I seem to be the ONLY one that teaches them NEVER to ask for food at someone else’s house. You WAIT to be offered, even if you ARE hungry! There are kids that actually come over just to ask for a snack!! If I’m with them in someone else’s home, they are to come to ME to ask, and I will determine if they can or can’t. If other children do that to me, I correct them! I’m nice about it, but I inform them that it is rude to do. I ordered a pizza the other night, and when I came to the door, a kid that I barely even know, was standing there with the delivery man. At first, he joked about having the pizza. As I’m paying for it, he said “Seriously, can I have just half a slice?” What the hell??? I said no, that I had enough children to feed for the night. I really wanted to lecture him about how inappropriate that was, but I had hungry children (I also had an additional child who’s father just dumped her in my lap RIGHT at dinner time saying he had an AA meeting to go to, which was the reason I ordered the pizza - geez!) and the delivery man was still standing there.
I also am the only parent – around here – that tells them NOT to look in other people’s windows! And not to play too close to windows either! I have to keep chasing children away that keep cupping their eyes at my kitchen window to see what we’re doing as we’re trying to eat dinner!!! Good grief people!!!
When did I turn into the mother of every child in the complex????
