FINALLY!!

Ok, so I’m JUST now, after over a month, getting to a point where things are under control. 3 weeks without a paycheck racking up daycare expenses was a bit nerve-wracking. BUT, for the first time in 2 years, I managed to pay my rent a week EARLY instead the last POSSIBLE day of the grace period. I was SO proud of myself. Though, I did tell my new property manager that I should just ask my company to forward that paycheck directly to them.

SO, the job…well, it’s not exactly what I thought it was going to be, but it’s still good. It’s gotten a little better since they’ve started training me on more stuff to do. For weeks, I’d have, like, 3 hours in the afternoon with NOTHING to do. It was driving me insane! But things are picking up. It’s not hard, though I do make big mistakes that I feel awful about, because they’re just stupid.

My co-workers are AWESOME! They’re so funny! It can be really fun in that office! There is one that MAY or may not be trying to sabotage me, but that’s just conjecture at this point. I don’t trust her AT ALL, but everyone else is really nice, supportive, and understanding. My Lead, the woman in charge of my training, is fabulous! She’s extremely knowledgable, patient, and just a sweet lady.

My boss…well, not really sure what to make of her. She claims to “be there” if you need her, but gives every kind of impression otherwise. She’s very standoffish, and unapproachable. Maybe she doesn’t mean to be, but I feel like I need to apologize every time I speak to her because she sounds irritated most of the time. I THINK she likes me, but on any given day…

Just went to my first “company picnic” yesterday. OMG, you guys it was FANTABULOUS!! St John’s reserved Celebration City for the day, and everything was FREE! EVERYTHING!! Cotton candy, ice cream, popcorn, fountain drinks, and they had a building set up for meals with hot dogs, hamburgers, chicken, potato salad etc, where you eat as much as you want, any time you wanted! We also all got free t-shirts. You’re only allowed one guest and children, but I scored another ticket so I could bring my parents. You have NO idea how GREAT it felt to know that I could do that for them. That we could all go because of ME, because of MY JOB!! Mom and Dad were thanking me all day. We rode a lot of rides, and the kids had a blast in the kids’ area of the park. For those of you who don’t know (cuz I didn’t), Celebration City is like a cross between six-flags and Silver Dollar City. It was just a kick-ass good time!!

YAY FOR WORKING!!!!!! GO ME!!!!

I have a crush…

…on my property manager. Yep, just about the least accessible person I could’ve picked to crush on since he’s not allowed to date/fraternize with the tenants. He’s single, 28, and he started here a couple of months ago. I thought he was kinda cute so, I started making up stuff (I mean, legit stuff, but I could’ve just called or put it off like I did when Barb was in there) to go into the office about and talk to him. Then, I found out that he lives on the property and I can see his place from my outside table. So, I’d go over and ask him more inane questions when I’d see him outside.

Then, one day, the pop machine was out of diet pepsi’s, which really did irritate me. So I went to tell him. Oh, his name is Patrick, btw. I know, LOVE the name. He actually offered to go to the gas station and get me one! He said he was going anyway, but who knows? He brought it to my door. That’s when I really started going, hmmm…

So, in all of these brief exchanges, he told me that his last 2 girlfriends of about 2-3 years each, “cuz I’m a long term kinda guy” were single mothers! He is just the SWEETEST guy in the world! Sensitive, but still take-charge, y’know? He’s BIG too. About 6′ – broad chest, broad shoulders, ice-blue eyes *sigh*. He cheered up Taylor when she was outside being sad, and he’s just great around kids in general. A real softy, despite his size. Oh, and lest we forget the awesomely COOL Jeep Unlimited he drives, and the motorcycle he keeps on the side.

He keeps giving me mixed signals, and I don’t know if it’s because he’s got to be so careful being seen so much with me, or if he’s just not that into me. I’ve hung out at his place a couple of times, which I think is pretty bold of me. But he’ll come over to my table and talk for a few minutes etc. So, things have progressed, but we both made it clear that we canNOT date (of course, when I said that, it was before I really liked him). Now, I just don’t know WHAT to do! He told me that one of his long-time friends asked him out not long ago (she lives right across from me) and basically offered her *ahem* unique “services” for him, and he said no because she’s a tenant. I heard this not just from him, but another source as well. So, obviously, he’s not going to break the rules. The man could, after all, get fired. AAARRRGH!!! 

I HATE crushes!!!

Approaching MELTDOWN!!

I’m venting this at nearly 2am in the hopes of staving off the nervous breakdown that I badly need, but don’t have time for. Mind you, I am extremely grateful for the recent windfall of blessings that have come my way. But, at the same time, they have come with them MOUNTAINS of paperwork, time-constraints, and a lot of money. This is a long, and exhausting read, but I just have to get this all out. Allow me to explain…

I had to wait to register Hannah into Kindergarten because she needed a screening first, which could not be done until the middle of August. Not to mention having to order a copy of her birth certificate (that got lost in the several moves we’ve been through since), which cost $45!! Right after that, I had to get shots updated for all of the kids. I had to have THAT done before I could even enroll Hannah and Taylor into school. For THAT, I needed to fill out pages upon pages of documentation. Lest we forget the small BOOK of forms that I needed to fill out for EACH child for daycare (8-10 pages AT LEAST, for each one), at which time, I had to come up with $120 for the enrollment fee alone.

THEN, I had to go to the teacher “meet/greet” to further validate their enrollment and see what class they were in. Once I was there, I had to attach my hand to Riley and Hannah, with Taylor following closely as I rubbed shoulders with the WHORDE of parents (usually as PAIRS), teachers, and kids doing the same thing. In each class, I was directed to stations which had, guess what?, MORE paperwork to fill out. So, I’m cramped into a tiny desk doing this, and separating school supplies, while my kids are running all over the room, embracing old friends, playing in the water fountain, and showing me all the cool stuff I could barely pay attention to, all at the same time. I’m also being hailed by other parents that I know (in between fussing at the kids to PLEASE leave other kids’ supplies alone and the carpet area is NOT a playground!), and trying to find an opportunity to at least say hi to the teachers.

After that, I went back to the daycare (to give Riley a chance to acclimate, while I asked some questions), and found out – this was just last Friday before I start work on Monday – that Riley had to have a physical done before he could attend daycare. They accepted the shot records for the girls just fine, but for Riley, that just wasn’t good enough for some reason. So, I had to haul ass over to a walk-in clinic that afternoon to make sure I’d get the form filled out before Monday.

All during the last two weeks, I’d been trying to contact my financial aid advisor about what my new part-time student status would do to my grant (which I count on for the kids’ seasonal clothes). Could NOT get a hold of him, and I was still waiting to see if I got into the class I was on the waiting list for, which would seriously impact my loans. I JUST got a hold of him this last Friday (in between the meet/greet, daycare, and clinic fiasco). Classes start on Monday, and I don’t even have my books yet b/c he has to approve my loans first, which he couldn’t do because I was still on the waiting list for a class!! At the 12th hour, I found out that I DID get the class, but he won’t be able to assess my financial aid package until Monday, which means I won’t get my books until the end of the first week of classes!!!!!! AAAARRRRGGGH!!!!

TONIGHT, I checked my mailbox and discovered  my paperwork for the child support modification. “YAY!” was my INITIAL reaction. Until I looked a little more closely. Ok, so I am to fill out 4 pages of income information etc, fine. I also have to submit documention of proof of insurance, income, and daycare expenses, ok! Then, I saw I only had 10 days to do this, otherwise the whole modification is called off and I have to wait another 3 years. Oh wait. It gets better. The “10 days” is from the mailing date filled in at the top of the letter – it read 8/18/08. I JUST got the freaking thing TODAY, the 23rd!!! Which means that I have to have all of this crap back IN their hands BY this Thursday!! Tomorrow is Sunday, so I have to wait until Monday before ANYTHING can be done. And I have to come up with SOMETHING that says the kids are going to be covered under my insurance, their daycare costs this much, and yes, I make this much money – BUT, I won’t get a paycheck for 3 weeks, my insurance doesn’t kick in for another month, and I won’t even pay the first week of childcare until Friday!

WHAT THE HELL????!!!!

Ok, I need to go to my Zen place…I am a leaf…Life is a cookie…*inhale, exhale*

Oooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmm…

“Fantabulous” new look!!

Well, I did it. I lopped all of my hair off! And I love, love, LOVE IT!!! It’s the best look I think I’ve ever had. But SHORT!! I’ve had long hair for the last 5 years, and it’s only ever been this short once, 8 years ago. With starting a new job, I really wanted something different, and more professional. She took off, at least, 8 inches of hair!

It is so chic!!! Now, my hair rests about an inch or so above my shoulders, and comes to right about my chin. I wish I had a digital camera so I could show all of you! It’s kind of a long/short look. Long on top, but tapered in at the bottom for a more rounded look, with a wide part and long, sideswept bangs. It really offsets my long face, and softer features. My stylist kept saying, “This is SUCH a cute cut on you! You’ve got a good face for it!” She knew I was a little nervous. After all, my hair grows very slowly, so if I didn’t like it, I’d be stuck with it for a WHILE.

I’m surprised by how much I like it, with it being SUCH a drastic change. But it is just so sleek, stylish, and professional! And surprisingly versatile! I use the straightener for an everyday, trendy look. I can use the curling iron for a more glamorous, evening look, and even my curly hair creates a tousled look. I just have to be careful with that. I could easily look like an electricuted poodle. lol It’s still long enough to pull back, but it’s more like a paintbrush than a ponytail. lol Still, with a wide clip, it looks nice. I keep looking in every reflective surface I come across! lol How narcissistic is that?!

I’m still getting use to not automatically going to pull my hair out every time I put on a shirt. And I keep running my fingers through my hair expecting it to keep going, and it doesn’t. I was outside last night, trying to fix Hannah’s bike, and one of the neighborhood teenagers came up to say hi. He looked down at me and said, “Megan?” I’m like, “Yeah?” “Oh, I just wanted to make sure that was you!” LOL

I feel just so supremely confident to start work! My mom actually surprised me with the offer to pay for a haircut – I LOVE that woman!!! Like most things I can’t afford (which is almost everything at this point), it didn’t even occur to me. But she told me that she knew how important it was to feel good about yourself on the first day of a new job, which is not unlike the first day at a new high school. Especially since I’ve been out of the workforce for so long, and this job means so very much to me. It was so thoughtful, I teared up!

Wow. Who knew someone could drone on this long about their hair! lol Anyway, hopefully, I can post a pic soon…

“Fast” food??

I decided, against my better judgment, to take the kids to McDonald’s last night. I couldn’t really afford it, but I also really didn’t feel like making anything I had in the fridge either.

I pulled up to the drivethrough and was about 2 cars behind the ordering speaker. I waited, and waited…and then waited some more. Took forever just to get up to the speaker, and then they told me to just pull ahead and order at the first window. Huh???? That’s weird, but I did it. And I waited, and waited…

Now, I’m a pretty patient and understanding person. I generally give people the benefit of the doubt. But this was REALLY pushing my limits. I watched 2 other cars pull out cuz they got tired of waiting (it’s not set up like Starbucks =)). The kids even asked if we could go somewhere else, but by then, it had become a mission. I told them, “No, I have to get up to that window so I can remind them what the words ‘fast food’ actually mean.”

By the time I got up to the window, it’d been close to 20 minutes. Apparently, all of their computers were down. But they could’ve handled it a lot better. I’ve been in other drivethru’s where this happened, and they sent people out to the cars to write down their orders. The manager was probably not working on all 4 cylinders last night. Dufus! I was still nice about it though. The guy took my order and told me to pull up.

Well, the food only took a couple of minutes, so I was glad about that. But, when he gave it all to me, he just told me to have a good night…I hadn’t paid for it yet! The asst manager came up and said because it had taken so long, it was on the house. THE WHOLE ORDER!! Between me and the kids, that was a good $15 worth. (at McD’s, that’s significant). I was hoping for a free order of fries or something. At that point, I was like, “Shoot, that’s WORTH waiting 20 minutes!”

You have to understand people, that I couldn’t really afford it to begin with. To some people, time is more important. For me, it’s free food. =)

Sooooooo tired…

That’s it. That’s all I really wanted to say. I’m just sooooo tired! Stayed up until 2:30am AGAIN!! And as always, as I was reaching over to set my glasses down on the side table, I looked at the clock and asked myself out loud for the thousandth time, “Megan, why do you do this to yourself?”

It’s not insomnia. They toss and turn all night. I assure you, when my head hits the pillow, I am dead to the world until the alarms rips me stubbornly from my slumber. I believe that is a side effect from sleeping next to a man for 6 years that never let me sleep more than an hour at a time before he was shaking me awake in some way due to my thunderous snoring (his most effective technique was to lift his entire body off the bed and come slamming down to jolt me awake). I just can’t seem to even get into bed before the wee hours of morning. What do I do until then? Any number of things really. I talk on the phone, I surf the net, I do homework, I work on new songs, I watch TV etc.

 I’ve always been a night owl. As far back as I can remember. My favorite shift to work has always been 2nd. It allowed me to get what I needed to done during the day, go to work, and miss rush hour traffic to come home to a niiiiice, quiiiiiet house. Ahhhhh. That’s not really feasible anymore, and I do miss it. But my body clock has never really been able to change that routine.

Oh well, maybe tonight will be different. Yeah right. I say that every night!

A fascinating occurrence

An interesting thing happened this morning. It was hours before I realized just how “interesting” it was. But before I get to the actual event, allow me first to explain a little bit about what I’ve been working on…

As some of you may know, there’s been a lot of hype about Ekhart Tolley’s new book, “The New Earth”. While I haven’t actually read it yet, my mom has told me enough about it that I almost feel an authority on the subject myself! It really is good stuff. I’ve been thinking about the principles of it a lot since hearing about it. The coolest part is, it ties together everything I’ve learned about “The Secret”, the power of energy, the power of the mind, the soul, the gospels in the Bible – even feng shui!!

For those who don’t already know, Tolley talks about the peace, serenity, and power that comes with just “being”. Everything else is just mindless chatter. Once you become aware of this simple, but resonating fact, you also become aware that all of that “mindless chatter” is predominantly negative. Think about it. What do you find yourself mentally dwelling upon? Money, bills, appearance, judgments, painful memories, personal desires, and most importantly, how difficult it is to have all of that or get over any of it. You’re constantly trying to, but fail to see that THAT is the biggest problem. Even by focusing on the positive, you’re still not quite hitting the mark. Because Tolley’s entire point, is that there is no real “focusing” at all. You. Just. Be. Exist. Draw life. That is all. Like as Jesus said, “Look at the lillies in the field. They do not toil, and they do not sow. And yet Soloman, in all his splendor and riches, was not dressed so well.” I’m paraphrasing. Lillies do nothing but exist, yet they have everything they need.

At first, I kinda scoffed at it, “Well, then what do you do, just sit around like a slug?” But no. You get up, you do what you want to do for that day, and you go to sleep. You don’t worry about, “Oh if I don’t get this done…” or “I have to make sure this happens…” with an underlying fear of the consequences if you don’t.

So now, I get up. I have my coffee. I go outside. I look at the trees, and the birds flying here and there. I hear the sound of the wind, and how it brushes across my face like an invisible kiss. I see the color of grass, and the pattern of the bricks on the houses across the street. I feel the energy from the constant stream of life all around me. There’s SO MUCH of it. It’s incredible. I once heard that there’s is enough life on earth to fill 10 planets. Imagine how much energy that is! And we’re all connected to it because we’re all made from the same stuff – beyond the cells, the nuclear elements, beyond even the atom, is simply energy. MASSIVE amounts of it. I think of that “energy” as the divine pieces from God, of God, and is God – at the core of us all. And THAT is how God is connected to us, around us, and connects us to eachother and every living thing on earth AT ALL TIMES.

Deep, huh? Yeah, I know. People go around trying to discover our purpose and the meaning of life. But the greater purpose is life itself, and THAT is meaningful! I think that is the fundamental truth that Tolley is trying to get at.

Ok, so I’ve been doing this everyday for the last, oh, week or so I guess. Not really seeing any external changes in my life, and not expecting any. Then this morning…

True coffee lovers will understand just how important that very first cup of coffee is. I had waited patiently while it brewed, and was now finally getting a chance to enjoy it. Now, me, I “doctor” my coffee. Not just with milk and sugar (yuck), but with french vanilla cream, and Splenda Mocha packets (the best invention since coffee filters, if you ask me). The cup was filled almost to the brim. I finished stirring it – old baby spoons make excellent stirrers, btw – and went to take it off the counter. For some reason, my hand slipped and the coffee cup started to fall. I managed to catch it, but the SCALDING HOT coffee splashed all over my hand! THAT made me drop it. Not only did the cup break, but a large amount of coffee was now covering a large portion of my freshly-mopped-yesterday kitchen floor. I just stood there and stared at it. Coffee had spilled ALL OVER ME, but thankfully, the burning sensation had ceased. Here’s the thing. I didn’t get upset! I mean, AT ALL!!! I had no reaction whatsoever. Not only did I have a huge mess, and my clothes were stained, but I didn’t even get to take one sip of the coffee I’d waited for until after I got my daughter off to school, and fixed breakfast for the other kids. But I was not in the least upset. I just got out my floormate, cleaned up the mess, changed my clothes, and made another cup of coffee. I even thought, “Well, now there’s a large portion of the floor that’s cleaner than it was an hour ago…” lol

I went outside, and looked at the trees, felt the air, saw the birds and the buildings, and watched how the grass bends and almost ripples with the wind…it wasn’t for hours before I realized just how significant that was and that this inner peace that I have been attaining is actually working!! That’s not to say I’m “Ghandi” or anything. Afterall, when my son failed AGAIN to “poo on the potty seat” this morning, I was very disappointed! But to experience such calm in the face of a truly heinous event (to me), was HUGE!

So, I thought I’d blog about it.

Kids today!

What is it with the total lack of respect with kids today??

Last night, Taylor comes running up to me, practically in tears saying, “A boy rode off on my bike!” She’d seen it from the window. I walked outside, and her bike was gone with no kids in sight. So I went over to the parking lot on the other side of the building across from me. Sure enough, there were 4 boys around the ages of 10 or 11, one on a skateboard, one on a scooter, and one…riding Taylor’s bike! I didn’t recognize any of them and I know most of the kids that live around here because they all play together at the playground right outside my door.

I called out to the little blonde hoodlum, “Hey! I believe that bike belongs to my daughter.” He rides up to me, and getting off the bike, says “Well, it was just sitting there on the sidewalk.” Ok, this was not the attitude I felt he should be taking about a bike that he had every intention of stealing. So, I responded with, “Oh, so that means it’s just free for the taking?” “Uh, I dunno” I took the bike and said, “I’ve got a very upset little girl in there right now. If this happens again, I’m coming looking for you,” in a calm, but stern voice. This kid had the gall to mutter as he’s walking away, “Well, I don’t even live here…”

I should’ve grabbed my cell phone before I went out there. I really just wanted to tell him, “You know what? You’re right. Why don’t we just call the police and get this straightened out!” and then watched them all scatter. lol

I mean, really! Why would a boy want to take a girls bike anyway? It’s pink and purple for pete’s sake! When I was a kid, I remember engaging in harmless shenanagans (yes, I really did just use the word “shenanagans”). Who among my generation isn’t familiar with the tried and true knocking on someone’s door and hiding where you could watch them come to the door, look around and scratch their head? Good ‘ol fashioned fun. BUT, when I was occasionally caught, I would dutifully hang my head and respond and agree whenever asked any kind of question.

What’s happened since then?? It’s like there’s been a total breakdown in the very fiber of respect! It’s events like this that makes me fear for our future. This kid will be voting one day!! *sigh* When my 7-year-old becomes a doctor , I hope she “forgets” the painkillers when he wanders into her ER. LOL

On a positive note…

My last post was written in a state of frustration at the inequity that defines the outsider’s perspective into my life. Looking back, it probably wasn’t the wisest thing to do, as it has alienated a lot of people and invited critisizm. My sister read it and offered some very valid points. I shouldn’t waste my time with such negativity. It’s not good for the soul.

I’m needing to attract a more positive outlook. In truth, my life isn’t exactly the way I want it to be and I take full responsibility for that, knowing I have all of the power. That being said, I want to take a moment to reflect on the things I am most grateful for today. My sister gave me the idea, and it’s a great one. Hmmm, that’s the second thing I’ve credited her in two paragraphs. She must be pretty wise! =) (shout-out to Amber! lol)

1) What a beautiful day! The sun is shining and it’s warming up again! After the flooding rains of late, this is just what the doctor ordered!

2) I am grateful that my son actually “poo’d in the potty seat”. He’s regressed a bit over the last few days, so this was a welcome act to witness. It shows we’re still headed in the right direction. YAY!!

3) I am still INSANELY excited to know that I will soon be able to record my songs and have fun with them using the mac mini that I will be getting soon!!! It will be mine. OH YES. It will be mine…

4) I’m getting back on track with school. I’ve let go of my actual performance and choose to instead focus on doing my best. Now, I’m concentrating on just getting it all done before the end of the semester. I’ve slacked so much recently that I’ve created quite a time crunch, but I feel great about hatching a schedule/plan to get it all done.

5)  I have a GREAT headstart on summer clothes for the kids. Nothing short of a blessing from God that I was able to get $150 worth of free clothes at Macy’s and Target! Again – YAY! They’re far from having enough yet, but definitely a good chunk. And I have a washer and dryer…

6) I’m grateful for my washer and dryer!!! 2 years of carting clothes up and down in a 2nd floor apartment being pregnant is enough to make any woman worship her own laundry machines for life! I have a new appreciation of them lately because of potty-training mishaps, and my cat’s wayward pee’ing habits (I’m mentioning potty training a lot, I know, it somehow takes over your life…lol)

7) I’m grateful for my family and for the first time in a LONG time, having no rivalry or upset to complain about! In our family, it’s a rarity and one deserving of appreciation when it happens. =)

8 ) My ex-husband and I have a great relationship. He’s changed a lot, and has become much less controlling, less rigid, more flexible and more generous. He respects my authority with the children and I respect his when they’re there. It’s a good dynamic. He’s even gone as far as to admit that he thinks I’m a wonderful mother! I recognize that this isn’t common among exes and makes life so much easier when trying to work together for the kids. It’s good for them, too, to see us getting along so well. Makes them feel more secure.

9) My eldest child, Taylor, has been officially placed in “advanced” math and made a PERFECT SCORE on her achievement test. Straight A’s across the board on her latest report card!! I must be doing SOMETHING right, cuz I KNOW those smart genes didn’t come from me! lol My brother got all of them (btw, Aaron you SUCK! =))

10) I will finally have 2 children in school this fall, which gives me what I see as my first real opportunity to go back to work and make some extra money! I am so EXCITED!!

Ok, I think I’ll stop there for now. Wow. That really works! I actually feel better! Everyone should try this. Even when you know all of the good in your life, it somehow helps to write it down and put it out there!! Good karma, too. =)

At dinner time, I used to ask the girls their favorite part of today. I’ve decided to change that. For the last few days, we’ve been going around the table saying 3 things we’re grateful for. I think this is better than the former because it forces them to stop and consider even the smallest things that brought them a little bit of joy today. It’s great for me too, because I love to hear their perspective on the things that mean the most to them. So, with this list, I’ve got a headstart for my turn at the dinner table tonight! Heheh!

My friends – Dustin and Christina

Just got back from the gym. I’m EXHAUSTED!! Stayed up until 3am – AGAIN. Why, oh why, do I do this to myself? Probably because after the kids go to bed, that’s precious time to myself, and I guess I just stretch it out. I’ve always been a night owl, but this is ridiculous! I’m working on the music to another song, and I always tend to stay up until the wee hours of morning getting it JUST right.

Tonight, a friend of mine, Christina, wants me to go to “our” church for a girls night out kinda thing. She invited two other girls to come with, one of them I’ve met, and the other I haven’t, but she’s in medical records at the hospital. I’m thinking it could be a chance to “network” a bit. So, I told her I would go. We’re also planning on going out for coffee afterwards. Sounds like a lot of fun, but I am just SO tired. It’s “bath night”, but I won’t have a chance to give them one tonight (I really hate it when that happens). Plus I have homework. ARGH!

Her husband offered to watch the kids. I absolutely ADORE Dustin – he’s SO MUCH like Aaron. He has the same sense of humor, same voice on the phone (everytime he calls, I’m like, “Aaron?” It’s become a running joke), and even kinda looks like him! We have very much a brother-sister type of relationship with continuous slams and wisecracks amuck. It’s really the first and only married couple that I feel completely comfortable being with either one. Christina, of course, I have more in common with and talk with more often, but when they lived next door (before they moved further into town), Dustin and I would stay out for an hour late at night talking. Christina is extremely secure, so she didn’t mind. She’s one of the few married women I’ve met that DOESN’T see me as a threat – which is just laughable since I’m just as disgusted when a married man hits on me! I mean, c’mon people!! Just because I’m single does NOT mean I’m going to hit on your man!! GEEZ! So, our dynamic is just great! Somehow, I never feel like a third wheel.

Dustin and Christina are not unlike my brother and his wife – Dustin is more outgoing and friendly, while Christina is a bit more reserved and quiet, but just as sweet and easy to talk to. They also have the strongest foundation for love in their marriage that I’ve rarely seen (again, not unlike my brother and his wife). Completely and totally devoted to eachother. It’s just an inspiration to be around. I love them to pieces. I look at both of these relationships and it truly gives me hope to have the same for myself. That it’s possible. Oh, and they have 3 children. Christina just found out, she’s pregnant with their FOURTH!! Man oh man! But they always wanted lots of kids. Wonderful, wonderful, loving parents – both of them. Are you starting to see why I adore them? =)

So, I have to be at Christina’s house by 6:30 tonight. I really, REALLY just want to order pizza. So quick and easy…but NO!!! Tried on a different pair of jeans today that I haven’t worn since the beginning of fall. They’ve been my baggy pair for 3 years. They’re button up jeans, but I still can’t button the top, and my ass fills every inch and then some. NO PIZZA, MEGAN!!!! *sigh* Guess I’ll just stick with plain ‘ol quesadillas. They’re quick too. Simple, easy…yeah, I’m sure that’s the better choice. Really. I don’t even want the pizza *sniff*.