Thanksgiving trip…

I feel so old…3 days on the road will do that to you. Had a GREAT time with family though!

Up until about a week ago, I had no plans. My parents and I were going to go to TN to see my bro, but we were shunned, so we weren’t going to do really anything. Then, we decided to go to IL to see my grandmother, who is terminally ill and may or may not make it to Christmas. It turned out to be a much bigger trip than we anticipated – the Paxson family get-togethers are nothing if not a “pack it in weekend”.

We caravanned the 7 hours over there, which was fun with the walkie-talkies. We wore the batteries down prematurely. Me and the kids were in one car, my parents in the other. The kids were wonderful the entire trip! First stopped to see Grannon and Pop, which was made much more interesting with my aunt and her new lesbian “partner” who decided to bring a dog the size of a small horse. Got a hotel room, and let the kids play in the swimming pool. They loved it!

The next day, we’d planned on just going home after check-out, but as we were leaving, my Uncle Jerry called and wanted to have lunch. So, we drove an hour to meet up with him and visited with him and his long-time girlfriend. Somewhere in there, I got the brilliant idea to expand the trip another day to visit with my cousins in St Louis on the way back, and take the kids to their father’s house as a surprise.

I was an hour late getting there, so I was in a hurry. Kept the car running and got the kids inside (I always try to spend as little time there as possible). What I DIDN’T know, was that the car I was driving – which wasn’t mine – had an automatic locking mechanism when the car was running. So, it had to idle for a half hour while Jason worked feverishly to pry the window open enough to use a coat hanger to roll down the auto windows. His neighbor came over to lend support, and then so did HIS girlfriend. Then Jason’s fiance came out too. Before long, it was like a full-on block party – only not nearly as much fun. Finally got it open and I went to my cousin’s (who only live 10 minutes from him).

I was warmly welcomed at my cousin’s house and stayed up talking at the kitchen table until 5am! It was awesome, which alleviated a lot of the tension arising from the nightmare at my ex’s. Chugged some Redbulls and got on the road. Just got home around 8pm tonight.

That’s what I call a Thanksgiving in true family tradition. FINE HOLIDAY FUN!!

“Intellect” vs. “smart”

Allow me, if you will, to contemplate the difference between those two terms. My mother once explained it to me, but it was much later that I understood it on a personal level. I know a lot of smart people. My ex-husband is one of them. He is extremely smart. But he is not an intellectual. There’s really no difference in IQ, and one is not necessarily “better” than the other. It is simply a different approach to intelligence.

A smart person grasps concepts quickly, and learns at a faster rate than others. They are very logistically oriented, pragmatic and organized. They are usually high-achievers, and successful in their work and almost anything they decide they want to do. They’re typically ambitious, and place high importance on monetary gain. They usually concern themselves with status and acknowledgment. Mind you, there is nothing wrong with this. It just is. Everyone likes nice stuff. I dream of having the big house, important job, and vacations to exotic places the same as everyone else. The only difference is, I don’t have it…yet.

“Intellectuals”, on the other hand, are inquisitive and have a hunger for knowledge. They usually have an interest in a great many things – not for any particular reason or purpose, but just to know. This is the group that often knows a little about a lot of things, but not a lot about any one thing. They’re not always ambitious or successful, and generally have an appreciation for “quality”, rather than ”quantity”, of life. People with high IQs, but little material acheivement typically make up a large part of this category. I met a man last year that could TALK MY EAR OFF about quantum physics, who was, of all things, a carpet cleaner that drove a beat-up “mystery machine”. Another one I met, had a fascinating perspective on theology and metaphysics, who’d just gotten out of jail and had trouble holding down a job for more than a couple of months at a time.

I’m not saying that “smart” people all have limited interests, or that “intellectuals” are always slackers. There are exceptions to every rule. But if you take each as a group, this is what I have found to be the case. Now, I bet you’re wondering with which one I associate myself. I prefer not to comment on that. It really doesn’t matter. If I say that I’m “smart”, it could mean that I’m “superficial and materialistic”, if I say that I’m an “intellectual”, then, by definition, that could generate images of a homeless bohemian sitting on a street corner, pondering the kinetic elements of a circle. Both have their fair share of gifts and faults.

It’s just interesting to note the difference itself. The more important question is, which one are you?

My Mom

I just wanted to stop a moment and appreciate my mother. She is the wisest, most honest, compassionate, and generous person I know. Somehow she always knows exactly what I need to hear, and knows me better than anyone else on earth. And not because she raised me, but because she wants to. She’s the only person I can call at 11pm at night to talk about my hair, and vice versa. She’s the one person I’m ALWAYS happy to see or hear from anytime and all the time. I find that amazing. I just never get tired of her! lol

The other night, I’d had a really bad day. I mean, REALLY, REALLY bad. I called her almost in tears. Without really saying what it was that I was really upset about, she said, “Why don’t I bring over some coffee, and we’ll just talk.” It was 10pm at night, but not only did she come over, she brought crescents and chocolate covered pretzels (my FAVORITE chocolate candy). She stayed until midnight, and I felt sooooo much better. How awesomely great is that?! I am so blessed.

I mean, ok, I don’t have a boyfriend, or a date, or even the possibility of a date, but I do have my mom. And, in the absence of romantic unconditional love and acceptance, she’s a great substitute! =) I really don’t know what I’d do without her.

I think about getting a job closer to their father, but they seem to need her more than they appear to need him. They tell her things they don’t tell me. She encourages them and listens to them in a way that he doesn’t. I’ve asked them how they would feel about it, but they don’t want to leave their “Oma”. I waited 5 years to live near my parents so that the kids would grow up with a relationship to their grandparents. I guess I’m just not ready to give that up yet. Not alone, anyway.

My mom is my rock, my cheerleader, and my kick in the butt when I need it. We can talk about anything – politics, books, TV shows, movies, theories, science, relationships – everything under the sun. We see eachother all the time and NEVER run out of things to say. That still boggles my mind. I just adore her – not because she’s my mother, but because she is the absolute best friend anyone could ever ask for.

So, today, my “gratitude” list is my mom.