Why do I do this to myself???!!!

I am so done with this!! I am through making an absolute fool out of myself over this man. You know the one I’m talking about – a certain adorably cute property manager. He just keeps, I don’t know, going back and forth. What is so dispicable to me is knowing that I am one of those women from that book, “He’s just not that into you!” that just won’t take a hint.

This is just so unfair I could cry! This guy is just so perfect for me! And he’s got real relationship potential! But…he’s just not that into me. AAAAARRRRRGH!!!!

Let me tell you what happened today…

I finished my latest song (which is, by far, the coolest, best song I’ve ever done) called, “Make Me”. It’s really suggestive though, but I honestly did want his opinion. So, I left him a copy with a note in the after-hours mail slot of the office. All day, I was just DYING to know if he listened to it. I figured, whatever his reaction will tell me everything I need to know at this point. If he’s interested in me, he’ll have listened to it by the time I get home, and will seek me out to talk about it. If not, well… Ok, so I get home after getting groceries tonight, and I have to park kinda close to the office. He came out and was talking to someone. I meandered and took my time getting the bags out of the car la tee da…When he was done talking, he went right back inside!

So, I’m thinking, “Ok, well, I guess that’s that.”  So, I was a little hurt but tried to put it into prospective. A few minutes later, while I was outside, I saw him walking by and remembered that I needed to ask why they took away my ever-important Diet Pepsi selection in the coke machine (which, he’d joked about doing cuz he knows how addicted I am). This was a legitament concern for me people! I wasn’t even going to ask about the song at this point. But I called out to him – he looked, but kept right on going. So, I called again and started walking toward him. He just threw up his arm and yelled, “Gotta go”. OH. NO. HE. DINT.

Now, I’m just flat out pissed. You DON’T just blow ME off like that! Especially since, I really did have a question I desperately needed answered! So, to add wait to the urgency of this situation (no diet pepsi), I went straight to the office to ask his assistant about it. I told her in no uncertain terms that I do NOT appreciate being treated like that, and to please forward that message to Patrick. She was really nice about it, and said she’d look into it. But, I was still upset. My object of affection had, after all, forsaken me!

I came out of the office and saw almost immediately that Patrick was standing over near my place on the playground – waiting for me. Um. Yeah, so about feeling sheepish…But, again, I was hurt. So I breezed right passed him, threw up MY arm and called out, “Gotta go!”. I looked back at him, and he was looking at me with this, well, kinda hurt expression. I turned around and smiled. He came over and told me that a tenant needed an issue resolved quickly. Then, he said immediately that he really liked my song, and thought it was awesome. All was forgiven. Before I could ask about any details, this sleaze-bucket moron (I REALLY dislike him) SHOVES his baby in my face! Like, I’m just supposed to swoon and gush over this child if it’s in my face! Patrick made his break back to the office.

So, I’m like, “Ok! Now we’re getting somewhere!” Except that TONIGHT, I was sitting outside – it was such a beautiful night – and saw Patrick going over to his friend Shelley’s apt, which is right across from mine on the second level. I’m sitting there, larger than life in my red-hearted pjs, and call out, “HEY!” Does he even look over at me??? NO! He DID, however turn his back toward me! WHAT THE HELL??!!!

So, I’m done. It kills me, but I’m done. He’s not a player – I can spot those a mile away. I just don’t think he knows what he wants, and it’s further complicated by the fact that we can’t date anyway.

But, I’m sad. Nothing like a quasi-rejection to make a single mother feel like she’s going to be alone for the rest of her LIFE!!! And, to add salt to injury, my mom thinks I’ll end up a lesbian. Thanks for the support, mom! Did, I mention that EVERY single woman I know is hooking up? What, is every star in a allignment for romance EXCEPT mine??!!