I’ve experienced a lot of turbulence in my extended family (i.e. everyone other than my children). I’ve had my heartbroken so many times, and gotten kicked while I was down, it feels like it’s always been Megan out on the limb. As a result, I withdrew about 2 years ago. My sister and I have been pretty good, and really have a fantastically altered relationship than we did 2 years ago. But, due to past grievances, sometimes it still feels awkward, and fragile. Still, I love having her in my life.
My brother, who is only one year older than I, and I have really never had a “close” relationship. Not for any reason in particular. He’s just a guy who’s married, with a demanding career, and a houseful of children himself. Just not much in common. Recently, I accessed his blog for the first time ever. In reading it, I realized just how much I’ve missed him, and how PROUD PROUD PROUD I am of him. I “used” a computer gliche (because that’s his career – computers) to open a dialogue, hoping that would somehow create a spark of a better relationship. It didn’t work the way I’d hoped it would (though he DID help me with my computer problem, and it was legitimate). What ensued shortly thereafter can only be called some kind of “clusterf***”, full of misunderstandings, and misconceptions.
It really wasn’t until his wife, my long lost sister-in-law, got involved that real progress was made. Of course, like a packed closet, it got messier before it got cleaner…and louder too. lol Scathing emails were exchanged, and the frustration seemed to reach epic proportions that climaxed to one heck of a phone call! First, there was screaming, then there was just yelling, then arguing, then talking, then…peace. I think it took about 2 hours on the phone. The best money I never spent! (she called me lol)
See, while I was detached and just doing my own thing, they all seemed to just get closer without me, which hurt. I really, really, really wanted to be a part of that. I always have. I felt like the nerd in high school that really, really wanted to hang with the “cool crowd”, but felt like I just didn’t cut the mustard. I am the only one still unmarried without even the suggestion of a boyfriend (except for Ryan Reynolds…oh wait, that was just a REALLY great dream lol), and broke as a joke.
But, I realized, life’s too short. Just let it fly. Let it go, and move on. At the end of the day, I love them. Period. Pure and simple. I love them for all the reasons OTHER than they’re my family, and I’m under no obligation to “love” my sister-in-law, but I do. I love my brother for his fantastically wacky sense of humor, and his devotion and dedication to LIFE. I love my sister for her laughter, encouragement, and generosity of spirit, and I love my sister-in-law, because even though she didn’t have to, she had the gumption to yell at me so I could get my head out of my butt! I love her for loving my brother enough to do what he won’t do for himself. I pray that one day soon will find me as much a part of their lives as they are apart of my heart.
And that’s my family!
